If the shoe was on the other foot!


I wonder what people would say if the Government randomly started rounding up in mass, and detaining people, US Citizens for various crimes of poverty, or being the wrong color, having the wrong ancestry, being blue collar, instead of being a doctor or a lawyer.

I wonder what their panic and fury would be like. Here you are going about your life, trying to make it, trying to survive, but because you were deemed unworthy, or somehow below the mark, you and your family become a target.

The Government sends agents to your house, breaking down your door, or using other means to apprehend the less desirable among you. You have no time to think or process what is happening as your loved one is handcuffed and marched out of the door.

Because it’s a federal issue, you don’t know where they will end up. You don’t know what to do or where to go. Because of your economic standing, you don’t have the means to get a lawyer, you are stuck.

Your bread winner is gone. Who will pay the rent? Who will buy food? What are you going to do?

You learn you have a choice. You can join your family member, of course that often means living in conditions that are violent, or that are more poverty than you can ever comprehend, but hey, you have choices.

Your fellow Americans are applauding what’s happening to you, they want more of it. They want to see more families suffer like yours. They find themselves a spokes person. Someone who will stand out and loud, talking about your family, calling them names, vilifying them, never having known them.

You will be stereo-typed, you will lose friends, you will lose family members because they will say this is your fault. You failed to marry someone better, someone with more opportunity, someone more worthy.

Your loved one will be called names like criminal. Rapist. Drug dealer. A public and very open platform will emerge. Making you cower when you walk in a room.

You’ll try to fight the case against your loved ones. Sinking more money than you have, just for a chance to get to stay together, but even that is hit and miss. There is no real way to fix it, and your friends and neighbors are silent. They say they care, they say they have your back, but when it comes down to it, they remain silent.

You’re an American Citizen and you can’t fathom this happening to you. Not here. Not in the USA. Not in the land of the free, home of the brave. We don’t do that to people.

Or do we?

The mayhem that would present itself if the Government started going door to door, checking papers, in this case employment and college degrees, ripping apart families who otherwise didn’t make the cut. I wonder how you would feel.

I wonder if your lack of opportunity, became your detainment, how you would feel. I wonder how American Citizens would feel if their loved ones, also citizens were incarcerated. I wonder how they would feel if their children, even infants, were locked behind bars. What if they shipped your love one out of the country with nothing more than the clothes on their back?

Yet, those same people, the people who would never tolerate their families being torn apart over economic issues, are very much willing to destroy mine, and countless others.

We should know better. We should know that one thing leads to another and when you allow the Government to deprive me from my family, your opening the door to them doing something worse to you later on. You’re giving them the go ahead to eliminate the “undesirables” the “less than worthy.”

It is OK to take from me, but I am pretty sure, you wouldn’t sit back silently and allow the same treatment.

Immigrant families, which includes people like me, US Citizens, live with this fear everyday. They are getting knocks on their door that rip their families apart. They are living in detentions with babies, in conditions better than the average animal shelter. But this is encouraged and applauded.

I don’t understand where we have come as a country when this type of thing is acceptable. I completely get it that we have an immigration issue in this country, but it’s not an issue of lawbreakers or moochers as some would suggest. It’s a policy issue that wedges families into a gridlock where they are unable to satisfy the requirements of the Government without assured family separation.

You wouldn’t accept it for your family, so why do you accept it for ours? Every action has a consequence. Rather good or bad, there is a consequence. Our current immigration policy isn’t just or fair.

Families are being separated, their only crime being that of illegal presence. Meanwhile we have immigrants here who should go, but are ignored by ICE. Case in point San Fransisco. If that doesn’t tell you the policy is flawed I don’t know what will.

Think. Vote.



I’ve been neglecting this blog because, well everything has been so depressing of late. I’ve always been against burying ones head in the sand, yet lately that’s all I’ve done.

If I don’t think about it, the anxiety isn’t as bad. If I don’t dwell on it, I can sleep at night.

Unfortunately, you can’t run. Not forever. You can’t hide. Not forever. Sooner than you’d like, it always catches up with you. Every single time.

It caught up with me. A few days ago, we got a letter from the court. Our hearing was moved up, from 2019, to August 29, 2017. Yep. Less than a month away.

This letter shocked me to my core. It shouldn’t have, but it did. Nothing involving immigration is predictable. Immigration is fluid. It changes. It’s constantly moving. Slowly at times, but it’s moving nevertheless.

What do I feel? An overwhelming paranoid fear. Cripiling really. But sadly, I’m not alone. When I go to court, side by side with my husband, I will be surrounded by all sorts of terrified people. People that include a large number of US Citizen women and children.

People like me, that I’m essentially pinned against, because if they are victorious, I might not be. It’s almost like the hunger games. One person picked off at a time until a select few are left standing.

At court you look around you, and all you see is complete terror. You can feel it in the air. It’s thick and it’s overwhelming. You sit there trying not to look at these people because if you fo, you’ll break  down, for them, for you. Your heart will ache because you know the majority of these people will be unsuccessful. You quickly realize, you could be one of them.

Why don’t I just accept this a exile to Mexico? Because I am an American citizen. I should not have to leave. I shouldn’t be asked to leave. Because the crime doesn’t merit the consequences. Because I love my family and I don’t want to leave them. Because my parents are aging. They’re not healthy. Because I’m afraid I’ll never see them again. Because I’m scared. Because because because.

All of these feelings my husband went through when he made the choice to break the law, leave his home and come here. He worried about the journey. Worried about those who he was leaving behind. He worried he’d never see his mothers face again.

Since being here, he’s faced some of the fears I have. Including the deaths of a sister and a nephew. He’s lost all connection to his family including his mother. He lost his home, and the relationships therein. He’s a stranger to his family. And to they him.

This is why I don’t want to go. I know he toll first hand of how this impacts families. Ruins them in effect. I do not want this to become my reality.

I want to be free.


Wow.  It’s been a rocky six months.

First, Esteban’s court case was reset!!!  The judge handling his case, resigned and now we must start all over. Just when we thought we were getting to the end, we are back at the starting line.  *Sigh*

Ten days before Christmas, my beloved Pap passed away.  I don’t even know what to say about this, other than it was shattering.  I didn’t expect it, though, I should have.  To say my heart is broken, is to completely understate the matter.  *Sigh*

Eight days before Easter, my grandma died.  Her passing was a relief, because she suffered horribly this past year.  We will miss her obviously, but we are grateful she is no longer in pain.  *Sigh*

We buried my grandma on the 15th of April.  The very next day, my aunt Carol died.  What a nightmare!!  *Sigh*

My great aunt Marcella is now in the ER unresponsive.  *Sigh*

People are asking Lisa, why I deleted Facebook, and or are upset that I chose to take that route.  I hope this puts the questions to bed.  It’s nothing against anyone.  I just need my space.  Every time I logged into Facebook it was to see my feed filled with anger and fear.  (I don’t blame you!)  It became too much.

I wish all of you nothing but the best, and I probably will return at some point, but as of right now, I need a break.

If you need to reach me, most of you have my email.  Some of you have my phone number.  Feel free to use either or.

~Much love~


Oh The Irony

A friend told me a little story that hasn’t left my mind since.

Her sister in’ law, a Trump supporter who is fond of saying “Yes, but they wont get your husband…” (as if she actually cared anyway.)  sent her a link to an article she found that claimed (falsely) Trump was going to offer up legalization to tax paying otherwise law abiding undocumented immigrants.

When my friend came to me asking if this article was true, I couldn’t help but laugh.  90% of Trump’s campaign surrounded around his oath to rid the decent folks of what he called the “rapists and drug dealing Mexicans”. Two things then :

  1. Trump is a liar who is going back on his campaign promises (yet you’re too far gone to realize this) or,
  2. The article is false and you’re trying to appease your conscious for voting in favor of harming your sister and brother in’ law.

So which is it?  You were played and Trump isn’t as heartless as you wanted him to be?  Or he is that heartless, and things are just as you wanted them.  I.e. with  your sister in’ laws neck in a noose?  (No sugar coating today.)

Alas, their conversation continued.  The Trump supporter/voter, came back with a SHOCKING, retort that was rather amusing if not terribly said.  “Well Obama was horrible to illegals, he kicked a lot out.  Millions of them.”  (Her use of the word “illegal” not mine.)  Two things then :

  1. Republicans spent EIGHT years screaming that Obama wasn’t doing anything about this “invasion of brown faces”.
  2. Republicans spent eight years screaming about how he was welcoming “illegals” and giving them all of their benefits.

So which is it?  Did Obama take a firm hand against undocumented immigrants, or didn’t he?

The bipartisan approach tells us that we have roughly 8 million undocumented immigrants currently in the United States. (In 2014 the number was 11.1 million)

  1. 68% of them are either married to a US citizen or have children with a US citizen.
  2. 40% of those here illegally have in fact been vetted fully by USCIS (Visa Overstays.) Of the 60% remaining, 27% are currently being vetted by USCIS.
  3. Roughly 12% have honorably served in our US military.
  4. Mexico has always been an ally to the United States and Mexico as our neighbor accounts for the majority of undocumented immigrants currently in the US.
  5. 87% of those currently in the US have been here over ten years.
  6. 84.3% of those living and working illegally inside the US are paying taxes.
  7. Illegal entry from Mexico is currently at net zero.
  8. Only one terror attack in US History has EVER been traced back to someone coming into the US illegally. (Beltway Sniper – One was a US Citizen and US Army Veteran, the other a 17 year old undocumented immigrant.)

I could go on and on, but kicking these people out serves no purpose.  The act in and of itself -destroying families- is about as unamerican as it can possibly get.  That simply is not who we are as a Nation, much less a supposed Christian nation.

Obama was no friend to immigrants in my opinion.  I have many, many US Citizen friends who have met their fate in exile under Obama.  That most likely will only continue under Trump.  The irony is, my friends sister in law seemed upset that Obama wasn’t doing enough while he was in office.  Now that he’s not in office, suddenly not only was it enough, it was overkill and has her upset.  (I call her bluff!)

This conversation taught me one thing.  Americans don’t really care about immigration.  If they are truly honest with themselves, they realize fully that these mass deportation measures are overkill.  They recognize this isn’t the legacy we want to leave.  They know what is happening is wrong.  They understand two wrongs do for not make a right.  However for them, it comes down to which party is doing it.  This isn’t about immigration.  It never has been.  It’s about party loyalty.

Right before 9-11, Bush and then Mexican President Vicente Fox were in talks about immigration.  They were on the cuff of working out something that would favorably legalize those who were in the US illegally, while preventing future flow.  Republicans across the board supported this measure.  9-11 tragically happened and all talks of legalization stopped.  But the precedent was set.  Republicans favored legalization.  They would support it.

So why didn’t they support it under Obama?

He wasn’t Republican.  Period.  The credit for something Bush and Republican law makers had worked hard on, would go to the next guy.  The democrat.

News break that Trump was legalizing non criminals and Republicans cheer.  Where was the outrage Obama received?  It’s simple.  Trump is Republican.  Party loyalty. Party credit.

In a nut shell it’s so ironic that it is OK for Republicans to forgive immigrants and offer legalization, but ONLY if their party gets the credit for doing it.  Likewise, Democrats pretend to care, when very few actually do.  (Hence Obama getting the title deporter in’ chief)  At the end of the day, Trump and Obama are no different.  They will each do what they feel is right.  Regardless if they are actually right or not.  It’s ironic, the very thing they are/have done, is what led to our current immigration crisis; doing what one thinks is right, regardless if it truly is or not.

Studies show that for the most part, people who migrate are a self-selecting group who want to better their lives, provide for their families back in their home countries and who don’t want to risk getting in trouble with the law, said Kubrin, the criminology professor at University of California, Irvine.

We all have opinions.  We’re all entitled to them.  We all can’t have our own facts however.  They aren’t fluid.  Facts don’t change based on who is telling them.  Something is either true or it isn’t.  In the History of the United States, more American Citizens have committed acts of terror, than their foreign counterparts.

Research on immigrants and crime finds that immigrants are not more likely than U.S.-born individuals to take part in crime, said Christopher P. Salas-Wright, an assistant professor at Boston University’s School of Social Work.

“Again and again, we see evidence that they are not,” Salas-Wright said. “In fact, it’s the opposite.”

Facts tell us, undocumented immigrants are simply not the villains they are portrayed to be.  They are scapegoats for what is really happening in a country that is too divided to see beyond it’s own realm of possibilities.

In summary, undocumented immigrants make up just 3.4% of the US population.  (If you use the pre-mass deportation number of 11.1 million under Obama.)  There is no feasible way that 3.4% of the population is responsible for burdening a system, crime waves, and economic instability.  Granted, they make a nice scapegoat because they seldom if ever have a voice to defend themselves, but if we as human beings separate the truth from party pandering, we can come to our own conclusions, conclusions that one might hope, provide a resolution we can all live with.

I don’t know what Trump will do in regards to Immigration and mixed status families.  I can only surmise by the rhetoric used during his campaign, that it wont be favorable.   I do however know what Obama did (or didn’t do) while he not only was in office, but while he had the numbers to get some work done.  Immigration is not a priority because the worldly powers that be know the truth.  Immigrants aren’t the monsters you’re being led to believe, but if they admit that, you’ll need to point the blame for failings somewhere…. they can’t have you blaming them.

Donald Trump and the Republican party have a chance to really do some good.  They in effect can do something wonderful with immigration that not only secures and protects our nation, but also honors our treasured tradition of family unity.  They can effectively root out violent criminal aliens, while simultaneously offering a second chance to those who are not.  They can preserve as many families as they can, or they can destroy them.  If they do not want to be like Obama, then the answer is obvious.  End the deportations of non-violent criminals, keeping US Citizens from exile or family ruin.  The ball is in your court Trump, I hope sincerely that you run with it.  This issue will determine your tenure as President of the United States of America.

A Christian Issue

Under President Obama, over two million unauthorized immigrants have been deported, that is more than previous presidents combined. But what does that say about us as a Christian Nation?

Some argue that the immigrants are creating a grave sin, in coming here illegally. Romans 13:1 says “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.”

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. So that suggests that the fact is, unauthorized immigrants are in fact, in violation of the laws of God. The United States has immigration laws, and regardless if we feel them to be unjust, or immoral, God is telling us we are to follow those laws. But, what if the laws of men, are contrary to the laws of God?

Acts 5:29 says “But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.”

We are to be in the world, but not of the world. So how do we subject ourselves to the laws of ungodly men? The Christian duty is to God first and foremost, and even men of God are acceptable to sin, or to fall by the wayside.

I struggled with this, with understanding, because History shows us some truly horrible leaders. Hitler to name just one. If God appoints the Government, how was it that Hitler came to power instituting the massacre of God’s chosen people? This to me didn’t add up.

I searched the Holy Bible for answers to a question that seemingly there was no answer for. To be perfectly honest, I still struggle to understand this concept.

In reading, I came across Matthew 5:41 and found it most interesting. Apparently, a law was needed because Jews kept giving Roman soldiers the wrong directions. The law stated, that if a Roman soldier asked of a Jew directions, the Jew was required to walk with the soldier one mile. (NOTE : One mile)

Matthew 5:41 “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”

What does that mean? The law of the Government was to walk one mile with the soldier, but this verse is telling them to walk two miles. It’s essentially telling them to follow the law, then find away around it.

What about Daniel and the Lion’s Den? A clear case of Daniel not following the laws of the Government, because they conflict with the laws of God.

What about the fleeing of Mary and Joseph? King Herod ordered the murders of children, and so they fled. According to the Government of the time, (Herod) they were to present Jesus to the authorities so he could be killed. Yet they defied the law and ran for their sons life, for the life of our Savior.

God called King David “A man after my own heart”.  God loved King David deeply, to the point of picking David to be the seed from whence the Christ would come.  Yet, we know David as a murderer, an adulterer, and a liar.

The Bible is packed full of stories of people not following the laws of man, yet they were righteous and loved by God. So, are unauthorized immigrants sinning when they come here without inspection and or overstay their visa’s?

God’s authority is the authority. That doesn’t mean we are not to follow the laws of the lands. We are. But not if it means contradicting fundamental laws of God.

The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:2-17 NKJV)
1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
4 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
6 “You shall not murder.
7 “You shall not commit adultery.
8 “You shall not steal.
9 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

And then, Jesus comes, and he replaces the old. (Not to say the Ten Commandments become moot.)

Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV)
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

We aren’t showing love, by ignoring the plight of the sojourner (who we are told to welcome 102 times in the Bible.) (Link to those verses HERE!)

Millions of United States Citizens find themselves caught up in the immigration limbo. Each and everyday, thousands of our citizens are finding themselves facing the decision between separating their families, or moving to countries that are not stable. Most of these people, over 90% are in fact what society and God deems, “our most vulnerable.” Women and children.

What does God say about Government interference in marriage?

From the very beginning God has asserted the importance of Marriage, and keeping the union together. Gen 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

1 Cor 11:11 “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman.”

Ecc 4:9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Mark 10:9 “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

There isn’t one instance in the Bible that says separating families is godly. There also is not one instance in the Bible, where it is OK to deport immigrants. There also, is no law in the Bible, that creates borders between the nations.

Are we to follow the institutions laws? Yes, when they are godly laws. Is migration godly? I guess that would depend on the circumstances. The Israelites were Immigrants. When Mary and Joseph fled, they were immigrants. When Jesus went on his mission, he was an immigrant. None of which, stopped and asked permission from the Governments to reside therein.

Perhaps immigration laws didn’t exist back then. Perhaps they shouldn’t now? Perhaps God truly sees us not as Nationalities but as believers vs non-believers and not intending us to separate. The Bible does talk about those who are unequally yoked with us.  We are to disassociate with them, but no where does it say, we are to distance ourselves between believers and believers.

In any case, the Bible makes it very clear. Men are to leave their families, take a wife and reside with her! It is clear that men are NOT to separate spouses. It is clear that we are to welcome the sojourners. It is clear that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. It isn’t perhaps clear what one should do in regards to immigration laws, but those things which it is clear about, we as a Nation need to take seriously.

We need to practice love.  Truth.  Compassion.  Forgiveness.  Justice.  Harmony.  Not division, discontent, and hatred.

I see in the News all the time, people asking that God be brought back into society. They ask for God to be returned as the head of this great Nation. But I see those same people, asking for the dissolution of the sojourners in America. We can’t have it both ways. We can’t ask to be one Nation under God, while ignoring the laws God set forth. If we are truly not a Christian Nation, perhaps the immigration system as a whole is not Godly.

Matthew 25:31-46
31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Two wrongs never make a right. If a wrong was committed by those here unauthorized, it is not just, Christian, or godly to hold them in that wrong. We must provide a way for the wrong to be righted without separating families and violating the union to which God ordains.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Editors Note:  I am in no way suggesting that unauthorized immigration is OK.  I think however WE have a collective responsibility to practice what we preach, and respect the Gospel we claim to believe.  The Gospel we wish to guide us, can only guide us if we allow it to.  We can’t forgive people their transgressions, by punishing them severely.  We can’t label these people rapists, drug dealers etc in an effort to gain mass support.  We have to show integrity and be the people God told us to be.  Welcoming the stranger, forgiving their transgression of doing it unlawfully, and creating a pathway to citizenship that respects family unity.  That is one way in which we can return our Nation to it’s Godly roots.

And So It Begins

Yesterday my anxiety was so excessive, well let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.  It’s like a clock in my head that keeps counting down.  Everyday I wake up in a panic, every night I fight to get to sleep, panicking in my mind about what I should be doing instead of sleeping.


I sit down and go through my hardship, not really know what I should include or what I shouldn’t.  Esteban is freaking out with shame at having to go around and ask everyone for letters.  How do you do that exactly?  Tell the entire community what’s going on and beg for letters proving you are needed in the community?

One good thing, Esteban has the conviction that his case will be won.  (Thanks for the confidence dear!  ❤ ) His belief helps me believe as well, yet in the back of my head, there is this ugly voice “You’re not a lawyer.  You do not know what you’re doing!”  Some days, like yesterday and today, that voice screams until I am emotionally falling apart.  Other days, I am able to block it out.


The not knowing is a real torture.  Some of my readers can relate.  You just keep hoping and praying and repenting until you make it through that moment.  Part of me wants to have the court date postponed.  MORE TIME!!!  The other part of me, is wanting this to just be over regardless.  Esteban, he just wants it to be done.

I spend a lot of time talking about how I feel, but to retain Esteban’s privacy, I speak little about how he feels.  How does he feel?  Torn!  He does not want to take me to Mexico.  He is very firm about that.  (Which causes a lot of anxiety for me.)  He is afraid that I would “make it” there.

He misses his mom more than words can express and longs to see her, but he doesn’t want to lose me, and he knows it’s an either/or situation.  (In his mind.)

I think he holds a lot of anger and guilt with himself.  He’s trying to reconcile with himself the fact that his decision 16 years ago, landed me here.  (Really babe, I married you not your papers!)

He worries about the kids.  How traumatic this will be, and so unnecessary.  That really gets to him.  He made the decision to come, I made the decision to love beyond the papers, the kids asked for none of this.  They are innocent, until proven guilty by a deportation order.  (Which I am confidant will not come.)

An emotional train wreck.  Trying to live here and pay our bills here, while needing to save money to start completely over in Mexico.  Just in case.


What am I now?

A friend asked me about her friend who’s husband was laid off.

The man in question is in removal proceedings fighting his deportation from the country. While his case is pending, he’s obtained a work permit.

So, the question becomes, can he collect unemployment?

He’s paying into it. Can he collect from it?

No. He can not. Just like he pays into social security, welfare etc. but none of those benefits can be collected by  him. By virtue of guilty by association, his US citizen wife and children also suffer.

Women are gaining strides as far as independence in this country, but there are still many who are housewives or who make far less in wages than  their male counterparts.

Women typically depend on the earnings of their husband’s when it comes to their economic standing, including their social security benefits when the time comes.

So what happens to the US citizen  wives of undocumented immigrants who have paid into the system for a decade plus? It’s shamefully simple. They can not claim their spouses payments. Their check will be based on their earnings alone, making their payout drastically and often debilitating smaller.

Is this part of our punishment?  To lose our standing in our country of birth?  To stick us all in the back and forget we were ever there?

I really do get upset when I hear people assume we haven’t already been punished by EWI.  We are punished every single day.  The things others take for granted, we mourn.  Our spouses can’t participate in life fully because of their legal status, but that transfers to us.  We can’t either.

I don’t know what we are.  Are we citizens or citizens in name only?  Ah, good hashtag, #CitizenInNameOnly

Not only are we losing the benefits our spouses pay in, not only are we living in fear, and as a third classmen, we are fighting for family unity which means we are fighting our own deportations by default.

Happy New Year


I have just one new years resolution this year. To put together the best darn case I can possibly put together. 

I confess, just thinking about what ahead of me, is overwhelming, but I’m determined to give it all I have. I intend to win. I owe it to my love, to my family, and to myself.

Going headlong into this with no law background, and no first hand experiance unnerves me to my very core, but I’m in it to win it.

Giving up my power is hard for me. Standing up to my fears is even harder. I’m not a public speaker. Infact, I’m extremly socially awkward. (Hence the obsessive blogging and Facebook interactions) I do not do well with “strangers” and contrary to popular belief, I do not have even remotely decent verbal skills. I panic.

Not this year. Not when it counts the most.

Thanks be to God my Father for allowing me the blessing of another new year with my husband at my side. Here’s to praying for many many more (stateside!!!).